Validation

 

We all need to know that we matter, that we have a voice, that someone sees us. Anyone ever felt like you were walking around in an invisibility cloak? It was cool on Harry Potter, but it doesn’t feel so good in real life.

 

So what do we mean when we use the word “validation?” One definition is:

“To recognize or affirm the validity or worth of a person or their feelings or opinions; cause a person to feel valued or worthwhile.”

What are some ways that we validate others on a daily basis?

The gift of validation is a powerful tool in the hands of a husband or a wife. We need to see our worth and value mirrored in the eyes of another. We need to know that someone is attuned to what we think and feel – to know that if we are in pain, there is someone to help – if we are excited that we have someone to share our joy with.  I love the idea that with our partner, we multiply the joy (making it double!) and divide the sorrow (making it half.)

Every person on the planet wants to know, “Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?” Has anyone out there ever had this question run through their mind within the context of their marriage? I know I have and Matt has too. So it’s a basic tool we need to master – not only for our marriages, but for our children, our parents, our friends, our colleagues. 

 

 
 Instead of negativity learn how to use Harville and Helen Hendrix's Couples dialogue. 

Instead of negativity learn how to use Harville and Helen Hendrix's Couples dialogue. 

 Communication in marriage is the difference between a florishing relationship or a languishing relationship. If you figure out how to communicate instead of complaining and arguing, it will solve everything else. 

Communication in marriage is the difference between a florishing relationship or a languishing relationship. If you figure out how to communicate instead of complaining and arguing, it will solve everything else.